Hottest 100

Anyone else loving Triple J's Hottest 100 of all time? This is the perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon. I can't believe I have to wait till tomorrow to find out the top 20!

Exercise

So, 6 month recap time. Let's start with exercise.

At the end of 2008, I made a commitment to exercise for half an hour a day for the rest of my life - I had quite a lot of fun imagining myself as a little old lady toddling down the road for my daily constitutional. I knew I wasn't going to be able to manage it everyday without exceptions, but I wanted the exceptions be unusual. My reasoning at the time was that I wanted to create a positive daily habit and work on improving my self discipline.

I started by walking. Lots of slow, slow walking and the occasional WATP dvd. I also did some swing dancing, which I love and barely consider exercise, gardened, went snorkelling and messed around on my housemate's Wii-fit. Nothing very strenuous, but it was exercise. After a while, I wanted to push myself; I started walking a bit faster, and I got brave enough to go back to the gym that I'd been avoiding for months to start strength training again.

After a few months of exercising at a moderate levelpretty much every day, I started listening to Jillian Michaels' podcasts and was inspired to push myself to a higher intensity. I bought myself a heart rate monitor, and after a few weeks I could maintain my heart rate at 75-85% for most of a half hour work out. Even more amazingly, I didn't hate it.

I hit a new phase very recently. Last week I realised that I no longer felt subconscious exercising. I no longer feel unworthy to take part in an exercise class, or attempt to do a jump at dancing. I no longer care if people think I'm too fat to be there - I am a fit, active person. I have the right.

So, what do I do day to day? I am a member at a women's only gym call Contours, which is a circuit of weights machines and cardio stations that takes about 35 minutes to complete. (they say 29 min - they lie!) I go three days a week (M/W/F generally) and push myself on the cardio stations to keep my heartrate at an average of over 75%. I burn about 300 calories according to my heart rate monitor, and whilst it's not my favouritest way to spend half an hour, I do like the muscle ache that I get afterwards. I'm also good at it:) The people that work there are amazed at how strong my lower body is, and my upper body is catching up too. It's nice to know that under all this flab are some kick arse muscles sculpted by years of moving 130kg around.

I go swing dancing at least once a week for an hour. It's not high intensity, as at least half of the class is spent walking through the steps to learn them, but when the music is turned on, the intensity climbs and a 3 minute song danced full on definitely gets the heart rate up. I love the dancing and I've made some great friends there, so it's my favourite type of exercise.

I then try and fit at least one or two other types of exercise in the week. I've started doing classes at a local gym with a friend and so far I've tried Body balance, Body Combat and a spin class. I've also done Aqua Aerobics, though I'm finding it a little easy now, so I probably won't go again. I've got some exercise dvd's that I sometimes do, and if the weather is nice I'll go for a walk. I have lots more things I'd like to try waiting in the wings. I want to take up running and cycling when the weather gets nice. I'd like to try another type of dancing or two and maybe ice skating too.

I have made so much progress in this area, I am amazed with myself. Exercise has become a major hobby and priority; I've even taken time off work to go to the gym. (I'm lucky not to have any significant family or work responsibilities) So far this week I have done seven and a half hours of exercise, with another two hours planned for tomorrow. Not bad for someone who would still "rather be sitting on the couch".

Weigh in Week 26 - 98.8kg

Another week, another kg.

It's been an interesting six months. I'm think I'm going to write up what it is that I'm doing that's working. Mostly for my records, but I realise that this blog jumps from "bugger, I ate too much crap", to "Yay, lost lots of weight", without much in between. A description of the repetitive daily slog is probably warranted. Once.

Pride before a fall?

So, after boasting yesterday that I was no longer struggling, I wake up this morning in a funk and discover that I am once more addicted to cake. Aargh! It was all I could think of from about 9:30, and I gave in and had a twix bar at about 1pm. Not cake, because there wasn't any that I wanted, and it did fit in my calorie intake for the day, BUT it was the fourth day in a row that I've eaten cake or chocolate. Sigh. I should have realised yesterday when I was stupidly excited that someone had brought chocolate chip cookies in for morning tea, but I'm a bit unaware sometimes.

Give me a few days of no more cake or chocolate, and I'll be ok, but tomorrow will probably be hard. What is it about the combination of fat and sugar that obsesses me? I don't understand how it can get such a hold over me so quickly.

Tomorrow will be six months since I weighed in at 122kg after coming home after Christmas inspired to try to lose weight again. I'm so glad it's working - I might have to change my profile description soon:)

Mirror Whore

So about two weeks ago, probably about the time everyone else started noticing, I started being able to see the difference. Until then, it felt more like my clothes were just getting bigger, as I couldn't tell. It would have been disturbingly easy to convince me that someone was doing an Amelie, sneaking in while I was at work, and swapping my clothes for slightly larger ones. But now, I can see it, and it's addictive! Every time I go to the loo, which is often, cause I'm still drinking a massive amount of water, I spend at least 3 minutes staring at myself; admiring how my arms now hang straight down instead of being pushed out by my hips, and how my stomach is now (every so slightly) smaller than my boobs. I grab the side seams of my jeans around my thighs, and pull them out to see how much extra fabric there is. It's fun, if a little narcissistic:) I hope I can continue to see the change.

I'm back from the struggling I was going through a couple of weeks ago. It's amazing how much I believe I will lose weight. I literally have no doubt that I can get thinner. Whether I will be brave enough to go all the way to "thin", I'm not sure - there's a bunch of issues that I'll have to stare down first, but I'll definitely be able to do "thinner". Much thinner.

Weigh in Week 25 - 99.8kg

I did it!

And it feels good:)

For me, 100kg represents a human weight, as opposed to a number to be disgusted by. Sure, I would have to be 2m tall for this to be a healthy weight, I still have 34kg to go for that, but it feels like it's OK to weigh this much.

It's also the number at which I told myself I would stop using my weight as an excuse not to do things. I wasn't sure whether this would be realistic, but I think it is, as my fitness level has taken a huge jump this month. All of a sudden I can run without feeling like my knees will snap, I can jump for the full 45sec station at the gym, I can dance for a full three minute song, and I can do all the stretches on the chart at the gym as my stomach doesn't get in the way anymore.

I feel like I am once more a member of the human race. I will no longer be an onlooker.

Great day

I had the best day on Saturday.

I started the day with a body balance class and a friend's gym. I'm thinking of joining - I love Contours, but I'm starting to want more. Anyway, the class kicked my arse, but I really enjoyed it, and it was nice to exercise with a friend. Then I went shopping and bought a black jacket that I fell in love with when I was last shopping for jeans. I still have the size 26 coat that I got last year, but it really is too big, and I knew that I would regret not buying this new one (it fit over my hips!), even if it doesn't fit me for more than a couple of months. There was a slight blip in the day when I got stuck in a "suck you in" slip - I got it on over my head somehow, but pulling it off I got half way, but then my arms were stuck up next to my ears. It came very close to having to yell for help.

But then it turned out that I was having an excellent hair day, and I remembered to put my contacts in before putting on my mascara, so I headed out that evening in my new dress and jacket feeling really good. I had poutine for dinner - hey, its (almost) Canada day - and a very good beer, and then wandered down to see a play at the opera house. It's a awesome walk down around circular quay - it's one of my favourite things to do in Sydney. And then Marcus Graham in Shakespeare, followed by strawberries dipped in chocolate at Max Brenner. Not a great day for nutrition, but I didn't go too over with my calories.

The salt from the chips may mean that I don't make it under the 100kg by tomorrow, but I'm OK with that. It was worth it.